Why So Serious?

Incoherent rambling and repeating myself begins now:

When I was 21, I used to look back at my life when I was a freshman in college and think of just how much of an idiot I was and how far I've come. 2 years later, I look back to when I was 21 and think the exact same thing. I'm sure in 2 years I'll look back and think, "Man, how did I ever live like that?" I always think I'm where I need to be to live my life. But looking forward now, I realize I still have a long way to go. This became much more evident after meeting with a councilor at the school I'll be going to (Yeah, I'm going back to school. Took me long enough right?). I need to turn my life around.

The biggest inspiration for this is my next door neighbor Dirty. No offense Dirty, but I don't want to turn out like you. If I'm 34, living with 24-26 year-olds, working retail for $8.50 an hour, there's a serious problem. But every time I examine my life, I see myself turning down the Path Of Dirt. Every time I find myself playing beer die on a Monday or Wednesday night, there's a little part of me that says, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOURSELF?" So thank you, Dirty, for hopefully changing my life.

I think being 23 and living with a 20 and 21 year old for the last year who are so much more mature than I was then (and more than I am now), and ahead of me (by leaps and bounds) in school, finally got my head straight. I can't keep fucking around like I do now, forever. I know I've still got some time to figure it all out, but it's finally time to start the process. And I went through this exact same thing a few years ago when I lived in my parents house for that one God awful year. I told myself then that I was going to change; start doing better in school, stop drinking so much, get in shape and get my life in order. So here I am, 3 years later, telling myself the exact same thing. The good news is that I've got one step down, I'm back in school. Now, I just have to break all the bad habits I've been forming since I got to college.

This isn't to say I'm going to quit playing beer die on Monday or Wednesdays or move somewhere where I can get a fresh start (although the thought has crossed my mind). That wouldn't be fair to you, my loyal reader who no doubt is waiting for baseball season to start so I can write about our drunken shenanigans. No, I'm going to be here for a while, but living a different lifestyle. I realize that right before baseball season starts is probably not the opportune time to have a life changing blog post, but it's something I have to do so I can not feel like a complete failure. I feel if I don't do something now, I'll be Dirty Jr. before you can say, "Just living the dream."

This isn't going to happen overnight, it's a gradual process, and going back to school is step one. Step two is world domination. Obviously.


Next post: 2009 Baseball Predictions Sure To Be Wrong

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