Your shower shoes have fungus on them. You'll never make it to the bigs with fungus on your shower shoes.

Last month, I watched the Bull blow at 33 point lead in the 3rd quarter against a really awful Sacramento Kings team. It really got me into those, "Why do we invest so much in these teams, what have they ever done for us?" moods. And that made me mad, because I hate being in those moods.

I haven't watched one of my favorite sports teams lift a trophy since 2005. That was when Arsenal beat Man United in the FA Cup on penalties, which was terrifying enough. But, that wasn't even in this hemisphere, let alone the city of Chicago. I've had to live through the White Sox, Cardinals, the freaking Arizona Cardinals, who came within 1 play of winning the Super Bowl, Man United, Chelsea and Boston sports teams win every major championship since then. Fuck Boston.

Since then, the Cubs have lost 9 straight playoff games, the Bears let Rex 'Sex Cannon' Grossman throw away the Super Bowl, the Bulls took the Celtics to 7 games in possibly the greatest playoff series ever, only to lose it, Arsenal finished out of the top 3 in the EPL for the first time in 20 years, the Blackhawks made it all the way to the Western Conference Finals only to lose in heartbreaking fashion to Detroit (sucks).

Do I just have terrible luck in picking teams? Do I blame my parents or location? Let's face it, I'm a Cubs/Bears/Bulls/Hawks fan because my Mom grew up in Chicago and followed those teams her whole life. My Grandma was the biggest Cubs fan I had ever met until she passed when I was 7. I got into English football because of my Dad, but I picked Arsenal on my own, can't blame him on that one.

Cubs: Don't even get me fucking started.

Arsenal: They've had a really bright future for the last 3-4 years, and it's about time we started seeing some results from that, but I don't think it will happen for another couple years. However, you never know in the EPL, a couple dropped points from Chelsea and Man U and we're right on top.

Bears: Possibly the most disappointing season I've ever experienced as a Bears fan. Pre-season: We got a QB! We're gonna be good! We can throw the ball! Post-seaon: Fuck Cutler. Interception machine. At least they fired Turner today, and Marinelli will take over the defense.

Blackhawks: If it weren't for the Hawks, life would be miserable, but man the Hawks are fun to watch. This post is not about the Hawks.

Bulls: Like I said, they blew a 33 point lead last month. They've got a bit of talent and they could probably contend for a middling spot in the East if they had a competent head coach, but they don't, so they suck.


I'm not going to stop caring, because I don't know life without sports, and I don't want to start. I would probably just sit in my apartment and stare at the wall until someone came over to play beer die, or it's time to go to UncFats. Not a fun existence.

Awesome Video of the Day:


Awesome Song of the Day (this goes out to Marcus):